My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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