oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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