We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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