im having a threesome with these popsicles
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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