I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
