After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
