If i come over, it means nothing
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
