My brain says no but my pants say off.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
