ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
