went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
