you guys were way drunker than both of me
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
