:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
