The best revenge is premature balding
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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