you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
We are all done wearing pants today
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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