ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize