4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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