We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
