well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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