My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
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