My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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