I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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