when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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