all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
