I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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