Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
