from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
