Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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