i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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