Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
