help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize