Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
