My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
