tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
