Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
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Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
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I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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