So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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