Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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