If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Randomize
