omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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