the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
