I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
