Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
