Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
i think my cat just said my name.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
