i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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