I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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