he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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