you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
