Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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