Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Randomize
