don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
