Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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