y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I licked your asshole in confidence.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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