I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
