we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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