how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
