this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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