walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
