do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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