he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
