..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
