there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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