Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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