if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
