I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
